Game of Thrones: “Oathbreaker”

A thought-provoking flashback, an epic montage, and Samwell on a boat...

After an eventful first couple episodes, we see a slowing of pace for episode 3. What this episode lacks in plot advancement, it makes up for in nuance, character development, and a single fart.

“Heaven can wait.”- Meatloaf, or Jon Snow

Yessir, Snow is back in this mortal coil, and our hero reincarnate is… terrified?

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Not only did we lose a potential Walking Dead crossover when Snow didn’t come back as a zombie, it seems that his reawakening is not shaping out to be as triumphant as we expected, and something seems to be unnatural and pained about his continued existence. The man has had it rough: he failed his job, had to hang Ollie, whom he cared about, and is deeply insecure after everybody saw his penis.

In the final scene of the episode, Jon Snow hangs the mutineers, and in doing so feels that he has tied up the loose ends of his legacy, that his work is done. His watch has ended, but a new chapter for Jon begins.

“Blarughdghehgeh” –Samwell Tarly

Episode 3 marks the return of one of the best Tarlys on the show, Samwell Tarly, as well as Gilly the wildling. Sent off to Med-school by a beaming proud lord commander, Samwell still has a thing or two to learn about sea legs. He’s bringing Gilly home to meet his parents, so some wacky hijinks are sure to ensue.

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Pictured: Samwell’s father Randall, as played by Robert Deniro (left)

“Buy one sword, get one free.” – Ser Arthur Dayne

Pictured: Arthur Dayne

In Bran’s next flashback, we see Sean Bean’s stunt double and some other scrappy North-men preparing to fight the properly ambidextrous Ser Arthur Dayne, sword of the morning. Not only do we find out that this legendary battle didn’t go down exactly as it was told, we also discover that Ned hasn’t changed his hairstyle for 20 years. Looks like the bean-cut never goes out of style. Way to go, Sean. The most notable theme to these flashbacks: LYANNA STARK. The fact that Rhaegar’s best knight is off guarding Lyanna Stark during a pivotal battle is CLEARLY hinting at something.

Also, have you noticed the person we’re supposed to root for never wears a helmet?

“Old Khaleesi take a look at my life, I’m a lot like you.” – Danaerys Targaryen

Just in time for bingo night, our favorite Khaleesi dons a comfy robe back in Vaes Dothrak and has some time to mingle with the other residents. She’s sounding like a real politician lately, still in awe of her descent from queen to early retiree, repeating her stump speech to anyone who will listen.

It seems her position at the home is not entirely secure either, since her fate is about to be decided by a Dothraki convention. I’m not sure what it will look like, but I imagine she’s going to need a giant, winged, scaly miracle to get out of this mess.

“Come sail away, come sail away…” –Lord Varys

Back in Mereen, we get a rare glimpse into the framework of Varys’ advanced interrogation techniques. Varys is a GREAT negotiator, I mean, he gets the best deals, all the time, and his customer service is impeccable. We also discover that the Sons of the Harpy are not a purely homegrown movement, they are supported by foreign investors.

Perhaps even more important, Varys’ skills save us from a painfully awkward conversation between Tyrion, Grey Worm, and Missandei, it was like a bad slumber party. Tune in next time to see if this discussion ever bears fruit.

“C’mere kids, I’ve got candy.” – Qyburn

We finally see Varys’ little birds are poor children who would actually like to get paid in Trident Layers. Regardless, this reveal does a lot to deflate Varys’ reputation of omniscience, as his information gathering powers are clearly not unique, but just a facet of the position.

“Whoever smelt it, dealt it.” – Grand Maester Pycelle

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The Dungeon Diet has not been suiting him.

The small council is back, give or take a few players, and what we’re left with is a real quirky cast of characters. Unfortunately, like the popular clique in school: Pycelle, Mace and Olenna Tyrell, as well as Kevan Lannister refuse to even sit at the same table as Cersei and Jaime. Power struggle, witty back and forth, Pycelle farted, yada, yada, yada.

“Do you mind if I sit? My knees hurt from walking all over your family.” – The High Sparrow

Tommen is brought to tears when he goes to confront the High Sparrow. Even worse, Tommen entered the conversation looking to make demands, but exited with a lecture. I was amazed at how childish the Sparrow made Tommen look after he called off his guards, “winning” by emanating confidence and maturity rather than resorting to violence.

“I can see clearly now.” – Arya Stark

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Pictured: No One

After one SWEET montage, Arya is trained and ready to kick some ass. It is intriguing how the same soup used to kill people was able to bring Arya’s sight back based solely on different intentions. Also interesting: The Waif’s (lady who’s job in life is to hit Arya with a stick) interest in Arya’s list, potentially something that will resurface? A man has no way of knowing, but a man guesses anyway.

*Drops the mic/head of a giant wolf* – House Umber Guy

Back in Winterfell, we see the return of the forgotten Stark, Rickon. It’s exciting to see the Starks on the up-and-up, although Rickon certainly isn’t in the best hands. Also, we lose yet another direwolf (RIP Shaggydog). PETA is definitely not thrilled.